Over 75 percent of married women have orgasms, which is far more than the single population. However, only 48 percent of women want regular sex after the first four years. Adding to the peculiarity of this phenomenon is that couples who stay married longer become more likely to return to regular sexual activity. There’s a strong possibility that once a couple survives the 4-7-year itch, the activity may pick up again…that is if both partners really want it.
Want to Seduce Your Wife? Put Forth Effort
Below we’ll go over tips to seduce your wife, starting with romance, and ending in the bedroom.
How to Seduce Your Wife with Romance
Let the Words Flow
Women love to hear how much they mean to you. Love letters have been around since men have been wooing women, and many have been successful at winning the heart of the woman in question. Think of it as an ancient art form that is always appreciated, one that will not only let your wife know that she is loved, but will also rekindle the passion you seek.
Start your love letter with a salutation that means something to her. Try a pet name or a loving greeting; don’t just start with her name. Spice it up a bit by trying something like: My dearest (insert her name here); To the love of my life; To my beautiful wife…you get the picture.
Next, let her know what you’re writing about. Tell her that you’re writing to remind her how special she is and how incredibly lucky and happy you are because she chose to spend the rest of her life with you. These words will strike a chord in her heart. Follow that up with a memory that you both share. Choose a time you felt connected when it seemed like the world was a perfect place, if only for a few moments. This may be your wedding day, your first date, or the moment you saw her walking down the aisle. (This is probably not the right time to bring up sex.)
Complimenting her intelligence is okay, but don’t stop there; let her know that she is so much more than intelligent–she is beautiful and powerful as well. Women love to hear that they are beautiful, even if they think they don’t look their best. Let her know that you think she is gorgeous, sweatpants and all. If you have a memory when she looked particularly beautiful, share that with her, and tell her what was so beautiful about that time.
Close the letter with love by sharing your hopes for your future with her. If you have plans to stay together and have wheelchair races when you are both old and grey, tell her that. Women feel secure when they know they have a future with the person they love. After you’ve written your letter, be sure to leave it in a location where she will find it, maybe with a rose next to her side of the bed or in the kitchen where she will see it when she is drinking her coffee.
Reconnecting after Negative Habits
According to research by the Health Research Funding organization, the most common causes for a sexless marriage include hurt feelings about the past, one partner constantly turning the other down, being too busy or too neglectful, a breakdown of communication, a lack of trust, anxiety, and other family pressures, such as children, money, or career.
In this case, it frequently helps to start reconnecting as individuals and throw the sexual routine out the window. Instead, focus on sharing intimate sexual thoughts and sensual feelings. Then find a compromise that you both mutually find appealing. Seduction is not about strategy; it’s more about knowing your partner and then catching them by surprise. You’ll want to remind them of the attraction that exists and has always existed between you two. Seducing your spouse is a reminder that the love you have together is still red-hot and that you are willing to chase her, as always, being the dashing romantic you are.
Consider Her Likes
What does your wife enjoy doing? Perhaps she loves eating out. Surprise her one day after work by driving to a new, romantic restaurant where you’ve made reservations. A nice touch? Call the restaurant beforehand and have champagne (or her favorite drink) waiting on the table when you arrive.
Maybe she’s a huge fan of gardening and plants. Perhaps you could clean your home to surprise her. Then put a big bow on a new potted plant and leave it on the kitchen counter with a card next to it. The possibilities are endless! You know your wife’s tastes better than anyone else, so use this knowledge to your advantage.
How to Bring Back the Spark in the Bedroom
The secret to enjoying a fuller sex life after marriage is for the husband to take the initiative and evoke sexual feelings in his wife. Since women respond to an emotional connection, your goal is to give her a special “story” (or a compelling reason for making love) to make her feel desired, loved, and wanted.
This can be as simple as a romantic dinner where you get all dressed up and take her to a fun place to reminisce about old memories. It could also be something kinkier like sending her erotic texts throughout the day. In both of these scenarios, you’re trying to win her affection, chasing her and not taking the sex you have “waiting at home” for granted.
Planning, Planning, and Foreplay
A successful night should include lots of conversation and foreplay time. Once things progress to physical touching, extend foreplay by an hour or more, delaying penetration and sexual climax. Allow both of you to concentrate on sensation, on the moment, and on the emotional connection beyond physical release. The key is to get your wife excited, so she’ll anticipate what will happen next. Make the scene unpredictable but always positive.
Even with all of these useful tools, some marriages need help from a third party to reignite the spark. This is where couples therapy can make all the difference.
No matter how long it’s been since your marriage lost its spark, there’s always hope to rekindle the original flame. Therapy is an excellent option to help you and your wife find this passion again, both in the bedroom and in your marriage. Take the first step to a fulfilling relationship, with excitement in and out of the bedroom.