For every obvious affair, there’s an example of infidelity that came out of nowhere. So what separates the blatant from the boldly subtle? The answer: thoughtfulness. By putting in the effort to indirectly reassure your spouse, you substantially lower your chances of raising suspicion. Here are the signs they look for, and what to do to ensure you keep things under the radar.
Your Sex Drive Has Diminished or Disappeared
Going from regular sex to infrequent sex is suspicious, and they’ll likely bring it up. Initial excuses will probably work, but they won’t last forever. If you want to stay with your spouse while pursuing extramarital relationships, you might want to limit the affairs so that you don’t come home completely satisfied every night. Resist the urge and pursue relationships at a reasonable rate, and you’ll have an easier time making it a long-term practice.
You Seem Like You’re Hiding Something
They’re noticing that they make you uncomfortable or nervous when they ask otherwise basic questions. They also notice that you don’t do the same thing with other people. It’s something about them that’s making you act differently, so what is it? You’re clearly hiding something, so is it you or is it them? Don’t let them get concerned. Instead, be as open with them about all other aspects of your life as possible.
You Show a Lack of Interest
It would be suspicious to suddenly become the best spouse in the world. When you do that, they might wonder what you’re making up for. However, it’s not a bad idea to turn up the dial just a bit. Nice, simple gestures—like casually doing a chore you wouldn’t normally do or picking up a small, practical gift you “happened to see”—are that ideal middle ground between compensation and everyday empathy. Maintaining a thoughtful home life is a good way to avoid falling under scrutiny.
You Take Lots of Out-of-Town Trips and/or Late Nights
Unless they’ve never seen a movie or TV show, this is a red flag to even the most trusting of significant others. Going out of town means that, if you do meet someone you make a connection with, sleeping with them will hold almost no risk of coming back to haunt you. Be aware of this cliché by checking in regularly to ease suspicion. And with late nights, it’s the same way. Anytime they’re sitting at home with time to themselves to wonder is not good for the one who’s seeing other people.
They’re Suddenly Not in Your Plans for the Future
Here’s some quick advice for quelling suspicion: casually bring up a future position the two of you will be in together. The more specific and natural, the better. Something like retirement or getting a smaller house once the kids go to college and so on. Since a big sign that you’re having an affair is talking about the future without including them in your vision, doing the exact opposite will ease their worry.
You’re Overly or Suddenly Protective of Electronics
Their fingerprint used to be able to open your phone, and now it can’t. You never used a passcode before, but now you do. You’re on your phone all the time too, but you’re vague about what you’re doing (or the amount your typing doesn’t match up with the amount you say you’re reading). If your spouse suspects there’s evidence on an electronic device, they may check just to ease their paranoia. If they can’t verify that you’re not messaging other people, that will just exacerbate the suspicion.
You’re Careless About Your Electronics
Despite the previous section, you still need to be protective of your electronics. When you browse on Incognito Mode both on your phone and computer, your Internet activity isn’t saved to the browser history. For example, when it comes to logging in to Victoria Milan, Europe’s most popular site for affairs, make sure you’re discreet about actually using the site, not just with the people you meet up with. In fact, if your spouse is nosey, don’t browse Victoria Milan on a shared computer. Make your profile and meet others looking for inconspicuous flings from a more personal device.
In the end, not only will you enjoy peace of mind, your spouse will too.